15 Jul The Memo: Summer 2014
Hello Boys, Girls, Children of all ages and those waiting to be called to one of the Benghazi hearings. It is that time of the year!
Schools out, Summer Camp’s in! The World Cup is over, LaBron has opted out of reality and moved in with Johnny Football, Jeter is on his Good-Bye Tour, the Redskins are still the Redskins (YES!), the Lakers don’t have a coach, California Chrome is not a Triple Crown winner, Congress is preparing to go home (and threatening to come back), Obama is taking a summer job with the Border Patrol, Cheney is back doing business development for Halliburton promoting the bombing of everything close to an oil field and the 1/10th of 1 percenters have left for Tuscany and the Hamptons since GM recalled their Escalades.
As usual it is necessary for me to dispel the rumors that usually accompany my disappearance for 8 weeks. First, I am not going to be preparing or anticipating Hillary’s run for President or encouraging her to do another book tour. I am not going to help the Republicans who want to abolish the Export-Import Bank after they heard Obama had asked the Bank to finance the export of Congress to Iraq since they had experience in dealing with a failed government that was split three ways. Neither am I going to help Boehner sue the President for not enforcing the law he voted 159 times to repeal.
While I was asked to go shopping for a two-year supply of “Made in America” veto pens in case the Republicans capture the Senate, the email providing the approval was lost when Valerie Jarrett’s computer crashed when she was emailing Lois Lerner. Of course, Lois Lerner’s computer crash called for a Congressional hearing on why it crashed. After Ms. Lerner, either took or drank the fifth, the IRS Tech guy blamed the crash of her computer on Steve Ballmer leaving Microsoft while Windows was still in development and the post attack effect of Benghazi.
There was a rumor that I was getting involved to settle the Donald v. Shelly Sterling case but that was false. Once Donald Sterling invoked the Supreme Court ruling in the Hobby Lobby case and said “Liking” black people on Facebook and tweeting “selfies” with “them” was against his religious beliefs, he was opting out of the Constitution and the NBA Franchise agreement thereby retaining his ownership in the Clippers, I had to take a pass. I just don’t challenge one’s religious beliefs even when being used not to follow the law! Also, it was hard to challenge his position that he would never had said all those terrible things if not for Benghazi.
I hate to take off when the President is dealing with Israel and Palestine fighting; Russia and Ukraine fighting; Muslims and Muslims fighting; the U.S. spying on Germany to steal their soccer secrets; the Kurds and Texans both trying to create their own countries; and his attempt to find a White Portuguese Water Dog so he can put an end to Fox News reporting he has a segregated dog house for BO at the White House before the House uses it to open impeachment hearings on grounds of violating the equal rights amendment.
I am simply going racing until sanity returns! I could be gone for a while!!
I will be ensconced at the Del Mar racetrack every Wednesday through Sunday beginning July 17th through September 3rd. This is one of the few places where the “races” are not influenced by money from the Koch Brothers, interfered with by Karl Rove or incorrectly handicapped by Bill O’Reilly and Rachel Maddow! This is the true meaning of Joy telling me to take a “Time Out”!
During race days for this period I will not be available for calls, conferences, meetings, sexual encounters (this is actually negotiable) or contract discussions. I will review emails every morning before 8 a.m. and after 6 pm. This does not indicate that I will respond to them but it does mean I will review them.
On each Monday and Tuesday, I will be available each of these days for calls, discussions, political analysis and personal therapies from 7:30AM – 2PM PDT. I will answer emails, meet with our staff, light candles, pray or rub the Buddha belly if any of that will help you. Of course if you need business attention you are in luck! Our great staff that does all of the work around here anyway will be at their post continuing to do whatever it is they do everyday while I am away.
On July 17th, I will head to the Del Mar Thoroughbred Club in time for the opening of the gates. On that day I am off in the “shopping car” and I will not take Uber. Uber now intrigues me having entered so many markets. According to one report, they could be worth a Trillion dollars since launching the Uber buggy in the Amish Communities and Uber Carriages through Central Park (over DeBlasio’s objections.) But I digress back to my world as of July 17th.
Opening Day at Del Mar has been the source of the hottest new technology products being launched this year. On this wonderful day, the women in Southern California will put on their “see me” and or “see through” attire topped off by the best of hats (like any of us will be looking at their head) to provide the eye candy that is a required ingredient to make Del Mar’s opening day. From this came the name of the Apple wearable “I-Watch”. The rumor is the former CEO of American Apparel, Dov Charney, attended opening day last year and got the idea to develop a new wearable that got him fired called “U-Touch”.
Each day I will be investing in thoroughbred racing —-one race at a time! Of course, I will not be using money obtained from high-speed trading, short selling, or the billions of dollars paid by JPM, Credit Suisse, Barclays, and Citibank in settlements from their years of doing good business with bad mortgages. (What is happening to all that money Eric Holder is collecting, anyway? Could it be supporting the Herbalife stock?) I know that most of you could care less that this grand event takes place each year but if it didn’t it would mean that Climate Change was real and had eliminated the Turf part of “Where the Turf Meets the Surf”. To those of you who do not believe in Climate Change, I ask you, after all of the science evidence that was presented in the Congressional hearings that Benghazi causes Climate Change, how can you deny it? Therefore, we must attend Del Mar everyday it is open just in case!
Now for the answers to those perennial questions. While most of the answers are the same as previous years, there are some changes that you may want to consider.
No, you may not go to the races with me UNLESS you have a personal written invitation. I would suggest you not hold your breath waiting for this. If you do receive an invitation, then your invitation will permit you to come to track, eat and drink, go to the paddock to see the horses and gawk at all the women in the Turf Club that ignore the dress code.
This does not mean you can use the time to discuss the political ambitions of Rick Perry, Rand Paul, Jeb Bush, Chris Christie, Joe Biden or Hillary, Sarah Palin’s Twitter campaign to impeach of the President, Bitcoin becoming the reserve currency or the Fox News report that “quantitative easing” was just Janet Yellin’s diet based on portion control.
If you attend the races on your own and see me, please practice your best parade wave that will be good enough for me!
If you want to know what is going on at Del Mar, download the Del Mar mobile app from the iTunes store (DMTC), it is also available for Androids. This will help me fund my summer activities! Soon it will enable you to fully enjoy the experience throughout the year!
As we do not provide investment advice, you cannot ask me when or what to bet on while at the track. (Got to watch out for those FINRA rules) Of course for an idea of what we are considering you can go to www.westcoastracing.com or www.thehorsecalculator and receive the daily selections from our handicapper or the algorithms, respectively (for a fee of course).
I will not answer my cell phone, text messages, emails or smoke signals while at the race track. On matters of Life and Death (I am always asked), our position is as follows: if an issue deals with life, it will still exist after the races; if it deals with your death, you will not know if I answered or not; if it deals with my death, I expect to be stuffed, placed back at my table at the track, have Jean make my investments on my i-pad and for my i-phone to remain off. In such an untimely event of my demise, Joy will give you the call forwarding number for the afterlife after race season and I will look forward to seeing you in the future!
What do we do in the case of emergencies? (I am always asked) Well, WE do not have emergencies. Therefore any emergency must belong to someone else and should not interfere with race days. Those with contracts with us should not have emergencies. Those without contracts with us could have emergencies, well……..now you know how to avoid those pesky emergencies:-)
Now to an ending that is really a beginning. For the first time in history, there will be a “fall meet” at Del Mar this year. This significant event may or may not warrant a second memo. It does implore me to provide you with advance notice that from November 7th-November 30th the aforementioned rules will be posted on our new web page www.renaissancecompanies.com being launched on July 22 for public comment.
The new website will have an Intelligence and Insights page where you will be able to go to find out what is “really” going on in the world of politics, finance, technology, the economy, the market and of course, thoroughbred racing! Hope you have a great summer!
See you in September!! ~ Floyd Kephart